Categories
Saving the world

Hand Wash Music

HAND WASH SONGS

These are six songs of approximately 20 seconds duration that I’ve written for people to sing or play while they wash their hands during the current Coronavirus restrictions. Mostly Moya is on vocals, me on keyboard.

Here are the lyrics, recordings and scores, with the odd explanation.

I JUST WANT THIS SONG TO GO VIRAL

I just want this song to go viral
I want it spread about
So the whole wide worldly choir’ll scrub
Until the hand wash time is out
I just want this song to go viral
Ooh!
See the Score as a PDF

SHORTER THAN YOU THINK

I reckon
Twenty seconds
Is shorter than you think
By the time this
Little rhyme is
Over
You’ll have flushed your hand wash down the sink.
See the Score as a PDF

IN A MINOR KEY

This song, it won’t take long
And it’s in a minor key
This tune will be over soon
When my hands are virus-free
No more bacteria
Or pathogens for me
In a minor key
In a minor key.
See the Score as a PDF

IN EINER MOLLTONART
As we can’t travel to Europe at the moment, I’ve decided to bring Europe to you with this German version of In a Minor Key. Thanks to Gisela, Karl and Jean-Yves for the German lyrics.

Ein kurzes Lied derart
So Gespielt in Molltonart
Ist gleich dieses Lied vorbei
Sind die Hände virenfrei
Keine kleinen Keime mehr
Oder Krankheit so gemein
In einer Molltonart
In einer Molltonart.
See the Score as a PDF

RUB SOAP RUB
This is a rewrite of an old children’s song of mine called Washing Blues, also known as Washing Machine on Playschool. These new lyrics are based on the World Health Organisation’s instructions for hand washing.

Rub soap, rub, that’s awesome
And rub post haste
Scrub right over the dorsum
Fingers interlaced
Rub soap, rub, rotational
Never asking why
Rinse, rinse, rinse-pirational
Dry, dry, dry!
See the Score as a PDF

JE ME LAVE LES MAINS
Another bit of Europe brought to you, based on an old satirical song of mine called Je Proteste. Thanks to Jean-Yves for help with the French lyrics.

Je me lave les mains
Je me lave les mains
Le lavabo ou le bidet
Un peu d’eau et je suis prête
Je me lave les mains.
See the Score as a PDF

John Shortis, April 18 2020

Categories
event Uncategorized

Out of the Cabinet

As usual Shortis and Simpson accompany the annual release of cabinet papers with a show about the relevant years, in this case 1982/83. Go back to the days of 2 litre flagons of wine, a flood of video rental shops, the Women’s Weekly going monthly, and A Country Practice on the tele. Relive highlights like the introduction of the CD, Down Under and the America’s Cup, Hawke becoming PM, No Dams on the Franklin, Michael Jackson’s Thriller, Split Enz being banned in the UK because of the Falklands War, Sacred Ground by Goanna, not to mention some memorable quotes from Fred Nile and Bruce Ruxton. All this, plus a rye overview of the cabinet papers by Dr Jim Stokes. It’s very popular, so book early. Details available very soon. Watch this space or see the ad in next week’s Panorama in the Canberra Times. Sat/Sun Feb 4/5 11am/2pm inj the Menzies Room at the National Archives.

Categories
Uncategorized

WAXING LYRICAL

 a witty look at the world of wordsmiths

John Shortis’s quirky take on some of the world’s great songs and songwriters, but from the point of view of the lyrics. You’ll hear Shortis waxing lyrical about something he’s
passionate about, Moya singing, and the extra bonus of a couple of spots
created by Peter J. Casey. And their favourite hot band of Ian Blake, Jon Jones and Dave O’Neill.

This time the topic is lyrics and lyricists, and includes songs by the
likes of Dylan, Cohen, Guthrie, Shortis, Lennon, Mercer, Berlin, Hammerstein,
Paul Kelly, Joni Mitchell etc. There’ll be fun segments like Mondegreens,
banned lyrics and much much more.

Imaginative, informative, funny and moving. Don’t miss it.

 

Final show in the season, at the Q Theatre Queanbeyan,
Fri/Sat Dec 2/3, 8pm, Sun Dec 4, 5pm. Adults$47, $42 conc. and groups, under 26
$37. Bookings 6285 6290 or
www.theq.net.au